[Ah, those could be words right from his mouth. I really deserve it for all that's happened.]

[Her amount of sin, he realizes, is a weight like no other. No wonder she had told him all that time ago those words, which he murmurs against her.]

"The only thing that was on my mind was making sure I actually died this time. But now I think that's just a form of running away. It's more painful to live with what you've done than to shrug it off like that."

[And even after this, after hearing all that, the long storied histories of his woman, front to back...even then, there's still that voice at the back of his mind saying "I'm worse."]

[He shakes his head - sure, it isn't as if he's happy to read these tomes, with bloodied pages, but at the same time, how can he judge? The pot and the kettle, sitting together. Roland, too, had thousands of souls to answer for. And all he could think was if he could ever be happy again.]

[He presses a light dusting of a kiss against her forehead.]

....You're....very special to me, Malkuth. More than you may know. I am...indebted to you. Truly. [A sigh.] This gaze shall keep you...for as long as this old guide lives.