[It must be as simple as that. He can't imagine why someone would say no to such a request. Maybe they're just busy? Must be.]
[She opens her arms, and he easily slides in, pulling her close as he rests his head against hers, avoiding the antlers. It's always so nice, hugging her. Warm like a blanket in the cold.]
You think so? Thank you. I didn't really do it before coming here. I learn from people like you.
[ wow... maybe she should test and see who'd come running actually. it might be fun.
no, they'd make fun of her for wanting to be spoiled any, she can't show that side of herself to them. as if they'd get over their own problems in the first place. sariel envelopes her as he always does though, comforting and natural as a coat, and malkuth's eyes slide shut with a soft sigh. maybe she did need this. ]
You're a good student then. I can't be more selfish than this, even though I sort of wish I could be.
[ there's lines, after all. even if she's certain sariel would be the best chair. at the very least they can sit closely together, which is what she'll be pulling him down to do. ]
This is where everyone comes to work on their own projects, [ including sewing from the machines off to one side, ] but I like to use this place to read since it's out of the way. You're welcome to sit in anytime, whether you have anything you're doing or not.
If this is selfish...I don't see how its bad. I know you've tried to explain. But I've never felt like...you're wrong for asking for things like this.
[He's pulled in closer - it's a bit of an angle for him. He may be smaller after his Natural Soul's influence, but it doesn't change how gangly he still is. Bending in, he murmurs:]
You can sit on my lap. If you want.
[A little hum.]
I might come here more often. It's nice and quiet. I like it.
does he know what she wants, that's crazy. her ears pin down in embarrassment, heat rising at the back of her neck and down her hidden shoulders. hesitantly, almost shyly, she'll climb into his lap since he offered (and only because he did, because he said it was okay) and rest back against him. it is more comfortable like this... and it's nice too, to have so much contact with someone she's imprints with. ]
You can come whenever you want. It's open to all, and they don't mind if you take a nap or two. As long as you don't bother anyone... they're very kind, and I'd like to see you around here, too.
[ her words do feel a little fumbling and full in her mouth, if only because she doesn't-- normally speak them, and the person she would really like to say them to she doesn't because he doesn't need to know how often she wanders to see if she can't catch a glimpse of him.
that's selfish, too. her feelings are always so selfish. but it's fine like this, isn't it? just this, just that, she can live on what she has.
even if it'd be nice to hold rafayel's hand the way she does sariel's now, pulling his arm around her. her chest pangs in hunger, hollow and chewing on its own desire. ]
So you should come visit whenever you want to see me, even if you'll always see me at home anyway.
[She takes his place against him. It reminds him of that faraway dream in a lonesome place, where he had drawn her in, and she had cradled around his head, saw the face behind the mask. His other pair of arms, smaller than the original pair, gently rest against her back. Sariel allows her to pull his other arm around, tucked tight.]
[Maybe it is the imprint. But there's something that settles so peacefully in him with closeness like this. The idea of touch-starved would confuse him - he's never been hungry for it before. But he likes this. Wants this. The feeling of pulling someone loved in so close, becoming a shield for them against the world.]
That's very kind of you, Malkuth. I'll come for sure...
[The remark that she'll always see him at home regardless gets him to smile, rubbing his chin a little against her head.]
I'll have to get used to that. Not seeing you so occasionally, but daily. It's...so new to me. It makes me happy thinking about it. I still hope its not too much trouble.
It's not. That room... was just collecting dust anyway, after its original owner left.
[ was taken, furious and feral, wounded and subdued. malkuth stares down at her tea and the loneliness ebbs at her just a little. just a little, because the arm around her, the ones against her back, the chin resting on her head... act like a wavebreaker beyond the shore, keeping the worst of it out at sea.
she wonders how angela is doing. if she'll ever be returned to them. it hurts not to know. ]
She would've liked to see it used, not dwelled on. You gave me and Yesod a pretty good reason to start on some early spring cleaning!
[ which should apply to the rest of their house too, but. well. it is what it is. hope sariel is also enjoying the households' mug collection... which have the faces of strangers on each one. dwbi ]
[That's right. It doesn't seem like a spare room with no identity, but one that had an occupant a while ago.]
[Sariel muses on that for a little moment, one hand rubbing idly over her back. There's lots he doesn't know. Everyone has their own busy wonderful lives. It doesn't stop him from wondering (or squinting at the faces on mugs).]
...What were they like? The previous...person who lived there.
Someone I had a pretty rough relationship with, honestly.
[ though there's no irritation or anything to go with it. she takes the tea to sip at, so it doesn't go to waste, but soon sets it back down anyway. ]
She was strict and unforgiving, cold and critical, someone who kept everyone at a distance... My actual boss from home, and one of the only people who could really get under my skin. [ not just annoyance, but anger. ] I yelled at her more than anyone I ever had in all my lives, even now! But Angela wasn't a bad person -- she had her reasons, and it was easy to get along with her after a while. She had a funny way of showing she cared.
[ waking her up bright and early every morning after that absent week, just to make sure she was still there. harping on 3kon when she'd seen the lengths and stress malkuth had decided to put herself under for their sake. making herself out to be the bad guy, when all she wanted was to be seen, understood, and treated as fairly as the others that suffered.
... the suffering only she remembered, millions of years worth of it. ]
Honestly, Takasugi and her are pretty alike -- as much as they both would've hate to hear that. They got off on the wrong foot and stayed that way until Patho-Gen took her.
[A cold, unforgiving person, yet they cared in their own way. Falsch wasn't like that, but his rudeness could be taken for something sincere when he was simply lashing out at the world. Maybe its the same thing.]
[ ah, frankly, she hasn't talked about it with anyone. 3kon doesn't know. they just know she's gone. yesod knows, but only because he was there, too. malkuth thinks she can speak on it though. even if it sounds a little distant, factual in a way. ]
One morning, Yesod and I woke up to Angela Shifting, completely out of control -- like the other soul had overtaken her own, and she couldn't be calmed or reasoned with. We'd handled her like this before back home... so we fought her, subdued her before she could break out into the city, and Patho-Gen took her into custody. We haven't heard anything since.
[His hands tighten a little, but still so careful. It reminds him of that time, captured into that facility. Even now, its only bits and pieces, but he remembers how he was treated.]
[Is Angela being treated the same way?]
Mm. [It feels painful. He doesn't know how to talk about it, so he focuses on a part of the story that stands out.] You say this also...happened back home? She didn't have a Soul at home, did she?
[ that's the thing: malkuth is hoping she isn't being treated poorly, that she's merely in stasis until they can figure what's wrong with her augmentor, and then... ]
No, no, she didn't. But the space we worked in... responded to her emotions, in the simplest terms, and transformed her in a number of ways.
[ roland, too. it could've happened to any of them if they hadn't broken in the life before... probably. ]
The only way we could calm her was by beating her up, since it was a physical manifestation of her grief, anger, resentment, and the Souls we have here remind me a lot of those times. Which is why I can get along with mine well, I think.
[ but that's just a sorry excuse, if she's honest with herself. it had felt good. finally having an excuse to get one over on angela, after her and binah had trounced them. after she'd betrayed them, hurt them, made it clear they were just "useful" to her -- at least, at the time malkuth fought her. it was probably different later on. ]
It was our first time dealing with it, so I just did the first thing that came to mind and treated her like any other Abnormality breach. Everyone else followed my lead. So, it's pretty much my fault we never tried.
[ was it painless? probably not, or maybe it was in comparison of the corruption. it hurts to shift. she knows that better than anyone.
malkuth turns to face sariel in his lap, resting against the table as she takes his smaller hands with interest. sheryl's transformation hasn't gone this far, yet... ]
If your boss is fine with letting me contract you... The boys want to do something overseas, so I'll be staking out Kelesis. How do you feel about that city?
[ because of the odd disturbance beneath its earth, the dread that radiated so vividly against the hooves she gained there. ]
And... it represents a lot of things I like and don't like, too. People should be able to have a place that's peaceful and idyllic, where they can just live and don't have to worry about if they'll be alive the next day, but it can't be done at the expense of others. If the water that runs through a city is tainted by the blood of those who live within it, then it's no good.
[ which is a bit metaphorical, but she lifts his hands to rest her cheek against them. ]
But it's a very fun city, and I think that beyond the-- oddities that exist there if you look too closely, there's something worth exploring.
[ something she can't quite explain, at least not to sariel.
... truthfully, it's not just about granting 3kon's wishes. there's a part of her that's very much using them as a way to dig into what kelesis might and might not like. they're quite polarizing as a group, and despite that city's acceptance of augmented and their flair for the risque... that doesn't necessarily mean her foxes' form of it would float well with the people, real or fake or whatever's going on above and still below. that's something she's interested in, too. ]
[Something about it makes him frown. The last time he was in Kelesis...it felt strange. Too busy. His ant Soul felt everything, touching that barrier. Everything. It was overwhelming, stifling, but exciting, and...he didn't know what to think.]
[And now this. He never really investigated deeper. He takes everything as is. Maybe he shouldn't.]
[His hands cup her cheek, as he leans forward to bump his forehead against hers.]
[ the touch is calming and cooling, warm in its own way. a deep affection pure as the his heart. ]
... There were creatures beneath Kelesis, trapped in torment. Many of the Augmented freed them -- they were like the Terra-ish distribution before, like Augmented gone mad. It's better now. They're at peace, [ dead and gone, ] so I think it's a little more "real" than before.
[ she won't ever refer to them as monsters, nothing of the sort. they seemed to be people once. souls. that was important. ]
A certain amount of expense will always be paid. But it's in paying that back that things are forgiven and fair, like... having a horse help till your fields, and in return giving it good food and shelter.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[It must be as simple as that. He can't imagine why someone would say no to such a request. Maybe they're just busy? Must be.]
[She opens her arms, and he easily slides in, pulling her close as he rests his head against hers, avoiding the antlers. It's always so nice, hugging her. Warm like a blanket in the cold.]
You think so? Thank you. I didn't really do it before coming here. I learn from people like you.
no subject
no, they'd make fun of her for wanting to be spoiled any, she can't show that side of herself to them. as if they'd get over their own problems in the first place. sariel envelopes her as he always does though, comforting and natural as a coat, and malkuth's eyes slide shut with a soft sigh. maybe she did need this. ]
You're a good student then. I can't be more selfish than this, even though I sort of wish I could be.
[ there's lines, after all. even if she's certain sariel would be the best chair. at the very least they can sit closely together, which is what she'll be pulling him down to do. ]
This is where everyone comes to work on their own projects, [ including sewing from the machines off to one side, ] but I like to use this place to read since it's out of the way. You're welcome to sit in anytime, whether you have anything you're doing or not.
no subject
[He's pulled in closer - it's a bit of an angle for him. He may be smaller after his Natural Soul's influence, but it doesn't change how gangly he still is. Bending in, he murmurs:]
You can sit on my lap. If you want.
[A little hum.]
I might come here more often. It's nice and quiet. I like it.
no subject
does he know what she wants, that's crazy. her ears pin down in embarrassment, heat rising at the back of her neck and down her hidden shoulders. hesitantly, almost shyly, she'll climb into his lap since he offered (and only because he did, because he said it was okay) and rest back against him. it is more comfortable like this... and it's nice too, to have so much contact with someone she's imprints with. ]
You can come whenever you want. It's open to all, and they don't mind if you take a nap or two. As long as you don't bother anyone... they're very kind, and I'd like to see you around here, too.
[ her words do feel a little fumbling and full in her mouth, if only because she doesn't-- normally speak them, and the person she would really like to say them to she doesn't because he doesn't need to know how often she wanders to see if she can't catch a glimpse of him.
that's selfish, too. her feelings are always so selfish. but it's fine like this, isn't it? just this, just that, she can live on what she has.
even if it'd be nice to hold rafayel's hand the way she does sariel's now, pulling his arm around her. her chest pangs in hunger, hollow and chewing on its own desire. ]
So you should come visit whenever you want to see me, even if you'll always see me at home anyway.
no subject
[Maybe it is the imprint. But there's something that settles so peacefully in him with closeness like this. The idea of touch-starved would confuse him - he's never been hungry for it before. But he likes this. Wants this. The feeling of pulling someone loved in so close, becoming a shield for them against the world.]
That's very kind of you, Malkuth. I'll come for sure...
[The remark that she'll always see him at home regardless gets him to smile, rubbing his chin a little against her head.]
I'll have to get used to that. Not seeing you so occasionally, but daily. It's...so new to me. It makes me happy thinking about it. I still hope its not too much trouble.
no subject
[ was taken, furious and feral, wounded and subdued. malkuth stares down at her tea and the loneliness ebbs at her just a little. just a little, because the arm around her, the ones against her back, the chin resting on her head... act like a wavebreaker beyond the shore, keeping the worst of it out at sea.
she wonders how angela is doing. if she'll ever be returned to them. it hurts not to know. ]
She would've liked to see it used, not dwelled on. You gave me and Yesod a pretty good reason to start on some early spring cleaning!
[ which should apply to the rest of their house too, but. well. it is what it is. hope sariel is also enjoying the households' mug collection... which have the faces of strangers on each one. dwbi ]
no subject
[Sariel muses on that for a little moment, one hand rubbing idly over her back. There's lots he doesn't know. Everyone has their own busy wonderful lives. It doesn't stop him from wondering (or squinting at the faces on mugs).]
...What were they like? The previous...person who lived there.
no subject
[ though there's no irritation or anything to go with it. she takes the tea to sip at, so it doesn't go to waste, but soon sets it back down anyway. ]
She was strict and unforgiving, cold and critical, someone who kept everyone at a distance... My actual boss from home, and one of the only people who could really get under my skin. [ not just annoyance, but anger. ] I yelled at her more than anyone I ever had in all my lives, even now! But Angela wasn't a bad person -- she had her reasons, and it was easy to get along with her after a while. She had a funny way of showing she cared.
[ waking her up bright and early every morning after that absent week, just to make sure she was still there. harping on 3kon when she'd seen the lengths and stress malkuth had decided to put herself under for their sake. making herself out to be the bad guy, when all she wanted was to be seen, understood, and treated as fairly as the others that suffered.
... the suffering only she remembered, millions of years worth of it. ]
Honestly, Takasugi and her are pretty alike -- as much as they both would've hate to hear that. They got off on the wrong foot and stayed that way until Patho-Gen took her.
no subject
[A cold, unforgiving person, yet they cared in their own way. Falsch wasn't like that, but his rudeness could be taken for something sincere when he was simply lashing out at the world. Maybe its the same thing.]
[The last statement is surprising, though.]
Took her...? Why?
no subject
One morning, Yesod and I woke up to Angela Shifting, completely out of control -- like the other soul had overtaken her own, and she couldn't be calmed or reasoned with. We'd handled her like this before back home... so we fought her, subdued her before she could break out into the city, and Patho-Gen took her into custody. We haven't heard anything since.
no subject
[His hands tighten a little, but still so careful. It reminds him of that time, captured into that facility. Even now, its only bits and pieces, but he remembers how he was treated.]
[Is Angela being treated the same way?]
Mm. [It feels painful. He doesn't know how to talk about it, so he focuses on a part of the story that stands out.] You say this also...happened back home? She didn't have a Soul at home, did she?
no subject
No, no, she didn't. But the space we worked in... responded to her emotions, in the simplest terms, and transformed her in a number of ways.
[ roland, too. it could've happened to any of them if they hadn't broken in the life before... probably. ]
The only way we could calm her was by beating her up, since it was a physical manifestation of her grief, anger, resentment, and the Souls we have here remind me a lot of those times. Which is why I can get along with mine well, I think.
no subject
[That's what he doesn't get. Surely that's too much. Even Bruce the Shark could be talked with. Well, sometimes. Even if all he said was "shark".]
Talking wouldn't work?
no subject
[ but that's just a sorry excuse, if she's honest with herself. it had felt good. finally having an excuse to get one over on angela, after her and binah had trounced them. after she'd betrayed them, hurt them, made it clear they were just "useful" to her -- at least, at the time malkuth fought her. it was probably different later on. ]
It was our first time dealing with it, so I just did the first thing that came to mind and treated her like any other Abnormality breach. Everyone else followed my lead. So, it's pretty much my fault we never tried.
no subject
[He knows the word, but he can tell Malkuth is using it in a different way. Something specific.]
[Malkuth is blaming herself.]
[Because she moved forward and made a decision like that?]
Was she going to hurt people?
no subject
[ ... here, too. the same. and they hadn't tried talking this time either. ]
no subject
[As a last resort. When all else fails.]
As long as you make it as painless as possible.
no subject
malkuth turns to face sariel in his lap, resting against the table as she takes his smaller hands with interest. sheryl's transformation hasn't gone this far, yet... ]
If your boss is fine with letting me contract you... The boys want to do something overseas, so I'll be staking out Kelesis. How do you feel about that city?
no subject
I would hope Silco would let me work with you.
[If he didn't he would be so sad.]
Mm. I don't have any opinions one way or another...what do you think about it?
no subject
[ because of the odd disturbance beneath its earth, the dread that radiated so vividly against the hooves she gained there. ]
And... it represents a lot of things I like and don't like, too. People should be able to have a place that's peaceful and idyllic, where they can just live and don't have to worry about if they'll be alive the next day, but it can't be done at the expense of others. If the water that runs through a city is tainted by the blood of those who live within it, then it's no good.
[ which is a bit metaphorical, but she lifts his hands to rest her cheek against them. ]
But it's a very fun city, and I think that beyond the-- oddities that exist there if you look too closely, there's something worth exploring.
[ something she can't quite explain, at least not to sariel.
... truthfully, it's not just about granting 3kon's wishes. there's a part of her that's very much using them as a way to dig into what kelesis might and might not like. they're quite polarizing as a group, and despite that city's acceptance of augmented and their flair for the risque... that doesn't necessarily mean her foxes' form of it would float well with the people, real or fake or whatever's going on above and still below. that's something she's interested in, too. ]
no subject
[Something about it makes him frown. The last time he was in Kelesis...it felt strange. Too busy. His ant Soul felt everything, touching that barrier. Everything. It was overwhelming, stifling, but exciting, and...he didn't know what to think.]
[And now this. He never really investigated deeper. He takes everything as is. Maybe he shouldn't.]
[His hands cup her cheek, as he leans forward to bump his forehead against hers.]
Explain it to me. Are they harming others...?
no subject
... There were creatures beneath Kelesis, trapped in torment. Many of the Augmented freed them -- they were like the Terra-ish distribution before, like Augmented gone mad. It's better now. They're at peace, [ dead and gone, ] so I think it's a little more "real" than before.
[ she won't ever refer to them as monsters, nothing of the sort. they seemed to be people once. souls. that was important. ]
A certain amount of expense will always be paid. But it's in paying that back that things are forgiven and fair, like... having a horse help till your fields, and in return giving it good food and shelter.