[ librarian... that's interesting. but he gets that— ]
Right. We had a great number of historical texts, records of people who had made an impact on the mortal realm in some way or another. We had Shades, souls of the dead, to keep things organized, and Dusa, of course... but I imagine having to take care of an entire library would occupy a lot of your time.
[ but maybe that's why they share limited experiences. or a part of it, perhaps. she did mention there was much danger and disaster. he thinks back to their last mission—the flaming sword in her hand, her clothes burning with it; the need to be close. slowly, the pieces begin to align.
but anyway, it's easy enough to talk about others, and it helps that he doesn't have very many important people: cerberus, his longest friend. nyx, his foster mother who raised him like her own. achilles, the legendary hero, his tutor and the closest he had to a father figure. thanatos and megaera, new and old loves, both whom had accepted him for who he is and inspire him to be better every day; amongst various others—patroclus, orpheus, and eurydice. ]
But to be completely honest with you, [ he laughs wryly, shaking his head. ] I think I'd simply gotten on their nerves so much over the centuries that they've somehow ended up tolerating me.
[ malkuth listens closes as they dine, the names unusual but remembered nonetheless. his longest friend, his foster mother, his tutor and father figure in one, his... loves, both old and new. they all sound like wonderful people, people that made zagreus who he is now. ]
I know what you mean -- more than you think. My coworkers and I have been with each other for... thousands of years, even if my appearance doesn't seem like it. You could say it was a self-contained atonement-- but that aside, we had plenty of time to get to know each other and, more importantly, get on each others' nerves. Even if that's more recent history than not.
[ a good way to put that. malkuth's smile, fond as it is, seems just a little sadder as she ruminates on the what-ifs. ]
... I know they love me, or... well, that we're important to each other, but I've always wondered if we'd be half as close if we'd met somewhere else, in some other time. Like if we'd met here. You know?
If it's not rude of me to say so, I think you look great for being more than thousands of years old. Better than a few beings that I know of who have lived that long.
[ but his expression softens into something that looks, perhaps, a little out of place on his youthful features. malkuth might have a couple more centuries on him, but he understands it—would meg have acknowledged him at all if he wasn't the son of her lord? would she have still been willing to overlook the color of his blood? ]
Would they still have looked your way, if you weren't forced to be in each other's company. [ he breathes a soft sigh, leaning his chin in one hand as he regards her. ] Do you think you'd still be, if you'd met here? Would you still want to be?
[ malkuth mimics his position, thoughtful in her gaze outside, and wonders that herself. the fastidious but attentive gabriel. the sickly but compassionate giovanni. the nervous but bright michelle. kali, standoffish but there. daniel, whimsical and easygoing. lisa and enoch, a pair of children still coming into themselves. benjamin, carmen, ayin, stubborn and forward facing individuals.
... ayin, resilient but quiet. always looking ahead, always looking through. would she have still been infatuated with him? would she still have tried to catch his eye? she turns her thoughts from him, from the warm and idealistic carmen, and back to the people most immediate to her with a slow growing smile. ]
... Yeah. I think so. Maybe it'd be one-sided, and maybe it wouldn't work out... but I've always been someone who liked to get to know others, even if I could get pretty into my own head about things. They might not have thought to give me the time of day, but I would have. The people I've met here otherwise are proof of that.
[ she's just outgoing and friendly, eager for connections with likeminded individuals. elijah's always been that way. malkuth might have grown up, had some bitter experiences she found valuable in learning from anyway, but that part of her has never changed. ]
Besides, I can't leave people alone. [ a soft laugh as she picks at the last of her edamame. ] When I see someone who stands apart from others, whether it's their choice or not, I just... want to be their friend. To be someone they can rest a little while around. It's not always welcome, but everyone need at least one person who's willing to try and understand them.
[ can't leave people alone, forming connections even when they may not be receptive to it. there's a persistence to malkuth that he recognizes, something that's familiar to him; it's been interesting seeing it from the opposite side, to have it be directed towards him in some ways. he's always been so used to reaching out and initiating that it's... refreshing, to be able to meet someone halfway.
but he thinks back once more to the burning girl—that loneliness, the anger and pain. ]
... I hope you have someone you can rest a little around, too. Whom you feel comfortable enough with doing so. Someone who's also willing to try and understand you.
[ she's so, so lucky too. people who have reached their hands into the worst of her and wanted to bring the person they loved out, never giving up no matter how frustrated she must make them at time, and after a moment she rests back in her seat with a smaller smile. ]
I'm a real fool, Zag. I take those very people for granted -- but it's because I want them to always be there in my life, I expect them to be, and... I end up pretty greedy because of it. Like a dragon hoarding gold. March, Izou, Vergilius, Yesod, Gebura, Netzach, Ereshkigal, Wriothesley -- they're all people who've tried for me, in the past and present, and I owe so, so much to them. Especially... those first three, as far as the friends I've made here.
[ oh, how she loves them. that's evident enough in her warm voice, the way her eyes crease as she smiles. her coworkers will always be important to her. there's a decade, there's ten thousand years, worth of time between them, nevermind the dream they shared in the first place.
it makes the connections she's made here all the more poignant. what do you want, elysium had asked her. maybe she's already found it, fool that she is. food for thought. ]
I hope you have people like that too, Zag. They're truly indispensable, aren't they?
Is that not what makes us human? To be selfish for love. To be a fool for it, to have the capacity for it to begin with. We make mistakes, of course. But these bonds we share, the bonds we've yet to make, they're just as timeless as we are.
[ some of the names are familiar, and some of them he expects, which puts him at ease knowing that malkuth has let them in. that she hasn't shut them out despite offering her love to them. ]
Perhaps this is presumptuous of me to say, but I don't believe they regard it as you owing them anything. They see the love you give them and they only want to give you the same in return. Because you are deserving of it, no matter the past or the present, or even the future.
[ she likely knows that. he thinks sometimes, it's good to hear it out loud anyway. he doesn't know exactly what all her relationships are like, but, if he's certain of one thing they all have in common, it's that they all just want her to be happy. no matter what form that takes. ]
Well, I think I'm a little too fresh to have people like that just yet. [ he chuckles lightly, chewing on a piece of karaage for a moment. ] But who's to say what the future holds, really. I'm sure I'll annoy someone enough eventually.
[ he has a real way with words. malkuth smiles as she listens -- to be selfish for love, to be a fool for it, to have the capacity for it to begin with; all too human, mistakes included -- and
she does know, yes. it is nice to hear regardless, yes. her cheeks warm and she turns her gaze at the plates between them, squeezing her chopsticks in hand. if only she were a better friend. a more aware friend. maybe she'd be able to avoid the pitfalls she'd stumbled into, that she'd been drawn out of by the very hands she'd let slip through hers. ]
Well, with your way with words, I'm certain of it too. I can imagine someone like you having a realm's worth of friends, all of whom want to return every bit of love you offer to them first. You're warm and kind, thoughtful, caring... witty and always willing to try something new.
[ he's on that list too, really. but she thought it obvious enough after his rescue. not someone to be taken for granted just yet... but someone who'd reached for her, who tried, who accepted pain just to make sure she was okay. how couldn't she count him among their number even a little? ]
I'd be more surprised if you couldn't name anyone by the year's ends.
[ he hasn't even finished his first drink yet, so he has no excuse for the way his cheeks heat, growing warm with every new word she throws at him. gods, how embarrassing. he laughs a little, shoving down the urge to immediately refuse, to deny, because he's not that kind, really, not that thoughtful—he's selfish, eager to please only because he's always been desperate for contact, for someone to... to look his way, to try and accept him the way he is. he's always been alone, could never quite fit in no matter where he is.
but he does care for them, for her. when he'd reached for her that day, he'd done so for the sole purpose of keeping her safe, of wanting her to not be alone. ]
... Then, I hope you know you're one of them. You're the first, actually. [ he manages, almost sheepishly. his smile turns helpless. ] And no matter what happens, I hope you know that I'll support you. That won't change.
[ regardless of whether she chooses him in the end, it doesn't matter. ]
[ boys who blush easy really are so cute. and boys who have helpless smiles doubly so, her own cheeks warming a little. though, the words... do sound a little familiar in a way, and malkuth keeps her tone light as she thinks of similar people she's known in the past. ]
... Then, are you the kinda guy that stands aside when the girl he likes has another suitor, or do you step up and try to win her heart? Provided they've made themselves known too and she hasn't denied them.
[ okay, but this isn't so surprising? malkuth is charming and very pretty, it should stand to reason that she would have multiple suitors. certainly he's not the only one with working eyes, and march had said something along those lines. it doesn't seem like she's made a decision yet.
if this is herself she's referring to. for all he knows, it could be someone else entirely. ]
... If she doesn't mind me pursuing her in spite of that, then yes, I would do my best to win her heart. Her comfort is important to me, and I wouldn't wish to put her in a difficult situation.
[ ... ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, he's got a good answer there, and she rests her cheek in hand. damn. not that she's disappointed -- the opposite, she seems pleased, but damn. could march complain about him? has she a reason to make a sour face? ]
... Then good. Um, there is someone else interested in me, but it's a little difficult of a situation -- someone I've known for a long time, so it's been shocking to kind of... uproot the view I had of him, to see him in a different way with that in mind, but I've been doing so bit by bit. Because he deserves the chance after I was so blind to it before, and I'd hate to miss out on something that might be worth experiencing. If you'd said you would step aside, I wouldn't be entertaining letting you pursue me further.
[ since, yes, it is about her, as stated. and bold as it is to claim that he'd like to -- she knows he likes her, he'd said so on a battlefield more fraught with conflict than a simple dinner. ]
... But... I can't guarantee anything, either. So if you really are okay with that, and... you wouldn't consider it a waste of your time to try anyway, then I'd be happy to receive flowers in the future too.
[ someone she knows for a long time... one of her coworkers she mentioned, maybe? he sounds important to her either way. but rather than be intimidated by it, zagreus simply takes it in stride. his own experiences with relationships don't exactly fit into mold of what mortals find conventional, anyway—if she's not put off by him continuing as he has, then that's all that matters. more importantly— ]
Of course I'm okay with that. [ his smile softens, leaning in a little as he rests his arms on the table. ] Any time spent with you is never a waste. I'm more than happy that you'd still give me a chance, honestly.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Right. We had a great number of historical texts, records of people who had made an impact on the mortal realm in some way or another. We had Shades, souls of the dead, to keep things organized, and Dusa, of course... but I imagine having to take care of an entire library would occupy a lot of your time.
[ but maybe that's why they share limited experiences. or a part of it, perhaps. she did mention there was much danger and disaster. he thinks back to their last mission—the flaming sword in her hand, her clothes burning with it; the need to be close. slowly, the pieces begin to align.
but anyway, it's easy enough to talk about others, and it helps that he doesn't have very many important people: cerberus, his longest friend. nyx, his foster mother who raised him like her own. achilles, the legendary hero, his tutor and the closest he had to a father figure. thanatos and megaera, new and old loves, both whom had accepted him for who he is and inspire him to be better every day; amongst various others—patroclus, orpheus, and eurydice. ]
But to be completely honest with you, [ he laughs wryly, shaking his head. ] I think I'd simply gotten on their nerves so much over the centuries that they've somehow ended up tolerating me.
no subject
I know what you mean -- more than you think. My coworkers and I have been with each other for... thousands of years, even if my appearance doesn't seem like it. You could say it was a self-contained atonement-- but that aside, we had plenty of time to get to know each other and, more importantly, get on each others' nerves. Even if that's more recent history than not.
[ a good way to put that. malkuth's smile, fond as it is, seems just a little sadder as she ruminates on the what-ifs. ]
... I know they love me, or... well, that we're important to each other, but I've always wondered if we'd be half as close if we'd met somewhere else, in some other time. Like if we'd met here. You know?
no subject
[ but his expression softens into something that looks, perhaps, a little out of place on his youthful features. malkuth might have a couple more centuries on him, but he understands it—would meg have acknowledged him at all if he wasn't the son of her lord? would she have still been willing to overlook the color of his blood? ]
Would they still have looked your way, if you weren't forced to be in each other's company. [ he breathes a soft sigh, leaning his chin in one hand as he regards her. ] Do you think you'd still be, if you'd met here? Would you still want to be?
no subject
... ayin, resilient but quiet. always looking ahead, always looking through. would she have still been infatuated with him? would she still have tried to catch his eye? she turns her thoughts from him, from the warm and idealistic carmen, and back to the people most immediate to her with a slow growing smile. ]
... Yeah. I think so. Maybe it'd be one-sided, and maybe it wouldn't work out... but I've always been someone who liked to get to know others, even if I could get pretty into my own head about things. They might not have thought to give me the time of day, but I would have. The people I've met here otherwise are proof of that.
[ she's just outgoing and friendly, eager for connections with likeminded individuals. elijah's always been that way. malkuth might have grown up, had some bitter experiences she found valuable in learning from anyway, but that part of her has never changed. ]
Besides, I can't leave people alone. [ a soft laugh as she picks at the last of her edamame. ] When I see someone who stands apart from others, whether it's their choice or not, I just... want to be their friend. To be someone they can rest a little while around. It's not always welcome, but everyone need at least one person who's willing to try and understand them.
no subject
[ can't leave people alone, forming connections even when they may not be receptive to it. there's a persistence to malkuth that he recognizes, something that's familiar to him; it's been interesting seeing it from the opposite side, to have it be directed towards him in some ways. he's always been so used to reaching out and initiating that it's... refreshing, to be able to meet someone halfway.
but he thinks back once more to the burning girl—that loneliness, the anger and pain. ]
... I hope you have someone you can rest a little around, too. Whom you feel comfortable enough with doing so. Someone who's also willing to try and understand you.
no subject
[ she's so, so lucky too. people who have reached their hands into the worst of her and wanted to bring the person they loved out, never giving up no matter how frustrated she must make them at time, and after a moment she rests back in her seat with a smaller smile. ]
I'm a real fool, Zag. I take those very people for granted -- but it's because I want them to always be there in my life, I expect them to be, and... I end up pretty greedy because of it. Like a dragon hoarding gold. March, Izou, Vergilius, Yesod, Gebura, Netzach, Ereshkigal, Wriothesley -- they're all people who've tried for me, in the past and present, and I owe so, so much to them. Especially... those first three, as far as the friends I've made here.
[ oh, how she loves them. that's evident enough in her warm voice, the way her eyes crease as she smiles. her coworkers will always be important to her. there's a decade, there's ten thousand years, worth of time between them, nevermind the dream they shared in the first place.
it makes the connections she's made here all the more poignant. what do you want, elysium had asked her. maybe she's already found it, fool that she is. food for thought. ]
I hope you have people like that too, Zag. They're truly indispensable, aren't they?
no subject
[ some of the names are familiar, and some of them he expects, which puts him at ease knowing that malkuth has let them in. that she hasn't shut them out despite offering her love to them. ]
Perhaps this is presumptuous of me to say, but I don't believe they regard it as you owing them anything. They see the love you give them and they only want to give you the same in return. Because you are deserving of it, no matter the past or the present, or even the future.
[ she likely knows that. he thinks sometimes, it's good to hear it out loud anyway. he doesn't know exactly what all her relationships are like, but, if he's certain of one thing they all have in common, it's that they all just want her to be happy. no matter what form that takes. ]
Well, I think I'm a little too fresh to have people like that just yet. [ he chuckles lightly, chewing on a piece of karaage for a moment. ] But who's to say what the future holds, really. I'm sure I'll annoy someone enough eventually.
no subject
she does know, yes. it is nice to hear regardless, yes. her cheeks warm and she turns her gaze at the plates between them, squeezing her chopsticks in hand. if only she were a better friend. a more aware friend. maybe she'd be able to avoid the pitfalls she'd stumbled into, that she'd been drawn out of by the very hands she'd let slip through hers. ]
Well, with your way with words, I'm certain of it too. I can imagine someone like you having a realm's worth of friends, all of whom want to return every bit of love you offer to them first. You're warm and kind, thoughtful, caring... witty and always willing to try something new.
[ he's on that list too, really. but she thought it obvious enough after his rescue. not someone to be taken for granted just yet... but someone who'd reached for her, who tried, who accepted pain just to make sure she was okay. how couldn't she count him among their number even a little? ]
I'd be more surprised if you couldn't name anyone by the year's ends.
covers the timestamp
but he does care for them, for her. when he'd reached for her that day, he'd done so for the sole purpose of keeping her safe, of wanting her to not be alone. ]
... Then, I hope you know you're one of them. You're the first, actually. [ he manages, almost sheepishly. his smile turns helpless. ] And no matter what happens, I hope you know that I'll support you. That won't change.
[ regardless of whether she chooses him in the end, it doesn't matter. ]
<3
... Then, are you the kinda guy that stands aside when the girl he likes has another suitor, or do you step up and try to win her heart? Provided they've made themselves known too and she hasn't denied them.
no subject
[ okay, but this isn't so surprising? malkuth is charming and very pretty, it should stand to reason that she would have multiple suitors. certainly he's not the only one with working eyes, and march had said something along those lines. it doesn't seem like she's made a decision yet.
if this is herself she's referring to. for all he knows, it could be someone else entirely. ]
... If she doesn't mind me pursuing her in spite of that, then yes, I would do my best to win her heart. Her comfort is important to me, and I wouldn't wish to put her in a difficult situation.
no subject
... Then good. Um, there is someone else interested in me, but it's a little difficult of a situation -- someone I've known for a long time, so it's been shocking to kind of... uproot the view I had of him, to see him in a different way with that in mind, but I've been doing so bit by bit. Because he deserves the chance after I was so blind to it before, and I'd hate to miss out on something that might be worth experiencing. If you'd said you would step aside, I wouldn't be entertaining letting you pursue me further.
[ since, yes, it is about her, as stated. and bold as it is to claim that he'd like to -- she knows he likes her, he'd said so on a battlefield more fraught with conflict than a simple dinner. ]
... But... I can't guarantee anything, either. So if you really are okay with that, and... you wouldn't consider it a waste of your time to try anyway, then I'd be happy to receive flowers in the future too.
no subject
Of course I'm okay with that. [ his smile softens, leaning in a little as he rests his arms on the table. ] Any time spent with you is never a waste. I'm more than happy that you'd still give me a chance, honestly.
no subject
[ why wouldn't she? does she come off as the kind of person who doesn't give any chances? or... something. ]