I knew he was famous, but... [ She shakes her head, gaze darkening slightly.
It sounds like he'd said it pretty easily. Without hesitation. To Malkuth, at least, and maybe he'd already known she had died and could say it. There's still a lot she doesn't know, and she doesn't want to ask it of Malkuth. Because she really doesn't like the way her thoughts are churning inside of her. Like maybe he did trust her friend more. Maybe he thought she could handle it better. Maybe he'd felt that Malkuth was--
March doesn't like this feeling and she releases a breath, quietly. ]
There were times when he'd start to say something but then... pause, and keep talking, and I didn't really get it then, but...
And make you sad? I get it. Your smiles are pops of colors in the lives of the bleak.
[ ... she really messed up. malkuth squeezes the hand she has, thinking of apology gifts to send to izou. booze, maybe. a nice, expensive sake. he'd think it suspicious though. maybe she'll just take him out for dinner. that's a little more normal, right? between them anyway. ]
I'm sure it wasn't for any bad reason he didn't tell you, March.
[ She does know that much. It's not like he didn't tell her because he hated her. He's her friend. That hasn't changed. ]
But I told him... that good and bad, I'd take whatever being friends with him came with. And he knows, people making choices about me for my sake, for my own good, without letting me have a say in it, if that's why he didn't say--
[ March breaks off the sentence, eyes stinging. ]
... I'm sorry. It's not your fault or anything, that just... I guess it's bothering me a little.
Even if he knows that, it doesn't mean he wants to be the one that causes you any kind of pain. People do stupid things when it involves those they care about. Case and point: me.
[ prime example, right here. ]
You have things you don't say too, don't you? Even if I'd like to be with you through any kind of weather, rain or shine? It's the same.
[ She does, of course she does, but it's not really because she doesn't want to cause anyone pain. It's her own way of protecting herself, more than anything. ]
I can't say either way what his reasons are. I can't speak for him. [ Maybe he didn't want to hurt her or maybe he didn't trust her with the information. March truthfully can't say why he'd decided to tell Malkuth and not her and even Malkuth likely doesn't know. That answer's got to come from Izou.
And maybe he'll tell her. Maybe she just has to wait.
... Her head hurts. ]
I'm... glad he's at least got another friend to talk to, at least.
[ she'd stopped trying hard to be it, and in the same span of time she hadn't helped him escaped until they were on easier terms. but it didn't seem to make him resent her any at least; he'd been agreeable to a drink, been agreeable to talking. malkuth doesn't know why he'd tell her, but not march who's been working so much to show she wanted to be around him regardless of all.
maybe she does need to shake him down. no, don't be involved. let it work itself out. though direct, brute force works, doesn't it? apologies first. ]
I think, though... if it bothers you, then you should ask him about it anyway. Don't let it just sit there and spoil. It doesn't have to be now or tomorrow, or anything like that -- but next time he pauses, or doesn't seem like he wants to say something, chase it and ask why. You don't need to make him tell you what it was, but knowing why he stops himself around you is the important thing to learn. It'll save you a worse conversation.
[ instead of letting it build up over time into explosive bouts of feelings and actions, the way it'd done for kaito. who acknowledged it, who wallowed in a week and a half of guilt before being absolved of it. ]
Oh, don't worry. I'm not a fan of sitting there and doing nothing about it. I do need to... think about it, but if I have to be the one to tell him I'm not so weak-willed that I can't handle the truth about one of my very good friends, I will.
And--
[ Oh, she's getting fired up, apparently. ]
I'm gonna remind him just who it is he's dealing with!!
[ March is not in the habit of wallowing for longer than a week. If that. ]
That's the spirit! He's a real pushover, so you'll be fine! I won't have to worry about shaking him down at all!
[ still. malkuth gets it. that's why there's still some things she hasn't gone into depth about with march or kaito, pages left unturned and passages unread. she takes march's other hand again, squeezing them both. ]
But if he gives you any more reason to be upset or bothered, even a little bit, the next time I take him out it'll be to the batting cages. And I won't be aiming for the back wall.
[ ......... thinking about how she told vergilius she's both an s and m. was that it? no, he hasn't said anything about it since. he's probably forgotten that she has sadist potential. ]
I'm glad. [ eskimo kiss time... nudge nudge. ] Will you braid my hair before bed? It's hard to do myself, but it keeps it from being too knotted up when I toss around.
[ life hacks for the long haired peeps... braid it ]
Well, it'd still be pretty long... but I think the style upgrade would let you mess with hair styles, too. I'd just rather do that sort of thing myself.
I guess... I sort of feel bad for the Queen, though. It was her choice to pour all of her jealously and sorrow into her actions, sure, but... mm. How do I put it.
[ how does she put it. the evil queen, a villain without question -- but she feels the apple's rotting pain in her heart, holed and slack in its spoilage. it festers. ]
At the end of the story, Snow White and her prince have a happy ending. They go off and they get married, while the Queen's left to rot, forgotten by all who had claimed to once know her. I think if she'd had someone who loved her too, she wouldn't have become "evil" in the first place -- but she'd been alone, and she had to deal with everything all alone, too. It's frightening to age for some people.
[ lose their beauty, their supposed worth. maybe it just isn't fair that she never had a chance at a happy ending from the start, that her poisoned apple was left to rot without a prince of its own. forgotten and alone, never to be looked at again. tossed aside.
she thinks of elijah, yearning for her work to be recognized and left to rot on the ground she lay. she thinks of angela, a poisoned fruit who was doomed from the start to never have a happy ending given to her. she thinks of herself... ]
Oooor I'm totally just thinking too hard about it! I mean, it's just a story. Good is good, and evil is evil. On the nose and all.
It's probably easier to think that way. It'd be nice if that was actually the case.
[ But that's been harder to do during their Trailblazing expeditions and even here, with the people she's met and started getting to know better. ]
There was a problem we ran into kind of recently with a faction of people who were really obsessed with immortality, not realizing what that kind of thing would do to their minds...
But I do think there's something to be said about having someone by your side, either way. Being alone would be the worst thing.
[ immortality, huh... watching the world change around them. seeing all their loved ones die, be forgotten in time. unable to connect to anyone without knowing, eventually, that those people would go before them. malkuth looks down at her hands. ]
I can see how that'd affect their minds, yeah. In my current form... I'll probably outlive most of the people I know as long as the Library exists somehow. Otherwise, I think I'll just...
[ ... disappear, like the flecks of pages that follow her E.G.O.? return to a book form? be left to sleep forever without chance of wake?
she falls quiet, squeezing her hands tight. ]
Anyway, [ lighter, louder, ] it really is! I remember when Yesod woke up, I kept going up to his floor to see him -- I didn't realize how lonely I had been until then, and even though it must have been annoying he indulged my whims enough to satisfy me. Since it was really just us from the Sephirot at first.
... Well, the world's full of possibilities, right?
[ Every world, honestly. ]
And I'm sure Yesod was happy to see a familiar face, too! Guys like that might sigh and roll their eyes and tell you to calm down, but they're really very caring.
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It sounds like he'd said it pretty easily. Without hesitation. To Malkuth, at least, and maybe he'd already known she had died and could say it. There's still a lot she doesn't know, and she doesn't want to ask it of Malkuth. Because she really doesn't like the way her thoughts are churning inside of her. Like maybe he did trust her friend more. Maybe he thought she could handle it better. Maybe he'd felt that Malkuth was--
March doesn't like this feeling and she releases a breath, quietly. ]
There were times when he'd start to say something but then... pause, and keep talking, and I didn't really get it then, but...
Maybe he didn't want to tell me.
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[ ... she really messed up. malkuth squeezes the hand she has, thinking of apology gifts to send to izou. booze, maybe. a nice, expensive sake. he'd think it suspicious though. maybe she'll just take him out for dinner. that's a little more normal, right? between them anyway. ]
I'm sure it wasn't for any bad reason he didn't tell you, March.
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[ She does know that much. It's not like he didn't tell her because he hated her. He's her friend. That hasn't changed. ]
But I told him... that good and bad, I'd take whatever being friends with him came with. And he knows, people making choices about me for my sake, for my own good, without letting me have a say in it, if that's why he didn't say--
[ March breaks off the sentence, eyes stinging. ]
... I'm sorry. It's not your fault or anything, that just... I guess it's bothering me a little.
[ A little. For some reason. ]
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Even if he knows that, it doesn't mean he wants to be the one that causes you any kind of pain. People do stupid things when it involves those they care about. Case and point: me.
[ prime example, right here. ]
You have things you don't say too, don't you? Even if I'd like to be with you through any kind of weather, rain or shine? It's the same.
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I can't say either way what his reasons are. I can't speak for him. [ Maybe he didn't want to hurt her or maybe he didn't trust her with the information. March truthfully can't say why he'd decided to tell Malkuth and not her and even Malkuth likely doesn't know. That answer's got to come from Izou.
And maybe he'll tell her. Maybe she just has to wait.
... Her head hurts. ]
I'm... glad he's at least got another friend to talk to, at least.
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[ she'd stopped trying hard to be it, and in the same span of time she hadn't helped him escaped until they were on easier terms. but it didn't seem to make him resent her any at least; he'd been agreeable to a drink, been agreeable to talking. malkuth doesn't know why he'd tell her, but not march who's been working so much to show she wanted to be around him regardless of all.
maybe she does need to shake him down. no, don't be involved. let it work itself out. though direct, brute force works, doesn't it? apologies first. ]
I think, though... if it bothers you, then you should ask him about it anyway. Don't let it just sit there and spoil. It doesn't have to be now or tomorrow, or anything like that -- but next time he pauses, or doesn't seem like he wants to say something, chase it and ask why. You don't need to make him tell you what it was, but knowing why he stops himself around you is the important thing to learn. It'll save you a worse conversation.
[ instead of letting it build up over time into explosive bouts of feelings and actions, the way it'd done for kaito. who acknowledged it, who wallowed in a week and a half of guilt before being absolved of it. ]
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And--
[ Oh, she's getting fired up, apparently. ]
I'm gonna remind him just who it is he's dealing with!!
[ March is not in the habit of wallowing for longer than a week. If that. ]
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[ still. malkuth gets it. that's why there's still some things she hasn't gone into depth about with march or kaito, pages left unturned and passages unread. she takes march's other hand again, squeezing them both. ]
But if he gives you any more reason to be upset or bothered, even a little bit, the next time I take him out it'll be to the batting cages. And I won't be aiming for the back wall.
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[ But she squeezes Malkuth's hands in return. ]
Thanks. I somehow feel weirdly wiped out, but that helped.
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I'm glad. [ eskimo kiss time... nudge nudge. ] Will you braid my hair before bed? It's hard to do myself, but it keeps it from being too knotted up when I toss around.
[ life hacks for the long haired peeps... braid it ]
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Definitely. Ribbon or hair tie?
[ It will be cute either way. ]
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Ribbon, please. It's easier to take out when the morning comes.
[ they're in the usual spot... her nightstand drawer. rainbow of colors take your pick. ]
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I still can't get over how pretty your hair is...
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[ as... pretty as it apparently is. ]
It was way easier to take care of back in the Library, since we didn't really have to do anything to take care of ourselves.
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[ But the lack of styles... ]
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[ where would she... hmm. her hand moves about mid-back. ]
Here? Maybe... a little higher. I'm just thinking though, I don't actually know if it'll grow back on its own.
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We should switch hair styles sometime then! I'd love to see you with hair past your butt, Marmar, I bet you'd be gorgeous.
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[ She says this so cheerfully. ]
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You so would! Being trapped in ice, out in the middle of nowhere... just like Snow White.
[ except she didn't get kissed awake. one day, kia. ]
She had a happy ending, so you will too. The Evil Queen wasn't so lucky.
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... I guess with a name like "Evil Queen", that's a little too on-the-nose...
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[ how does she put it. the evil queen, a villain without question -- but she feels the apple's rotting pain in her heart, holed and slack in its spoilage. it festers. ]
At the end of the story, Snow White and her prince have a happy ending. They go off and they get married, while the Queen's left to rot, forgotten by all who had claimed to once know her. I think if she'd had someone who loved her too, she wouldn't have become "evil" in the first place -- but she'd been alone, and she had to deal with everything all alone, too. It's frightening to age for some people.
[ lose their beauty, their supposed worth. maybe it just isn't fair that she never had a chance at a happy ending from the start, that her poisoned apple was left to rot without a prince of its own. forgotten and alone, never to be looked at again. tossed aside.
she thinks of elijah, yearning for her work to be recognized and left to rot on the ground she lay. she thinks of angela, a poisoned fruit who was doomed from the start to never have a happy ending given to her. she thinks of herself... ]
Oooor I'm totally just thinking too hard about it! I mean, it's just a story. Good is good, and evil is evil. On the nose and all.
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[ But that's been harder to do during their Trailblazing expeditions and even here, with the people she's met and started getting to know better. ]
There was a problem we ran into kind of recently with a faction of people who were really obsessed with immortality, not realizing what that kind of thing would do to their minds...
But I do think there's something to be said about having someone by your side, either way. Being alone would be the worst thing.
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I can see how that'd affect their minds, yeah. In my current form... I'll probably outlive most of the people I know as long as the Library exists somehow. Otherwise, I think I'll just...
[ ... disappear, like the flecks of pages that follow her E.G.O.? return to a book form? be left to sleep forever without chance of wake?
she falls quiet, squeezing her hands tight. ]
Anyway, [ lighter, louder, ] it really is! I remember when Yesod woke up, I kept going up to his floor to see him -- I didn't realize how lonely I had been until then, and even though it must have been annoying he indulged my whims enough to satisfy me. Since it was really just us from the Sephirot at first.
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[ Every world, honestly. ]
And I'm sure Yesod was happy to see a familiar face, too! Guys like that might sigh and roll their eyes and tell you to calm down, but they're really very caring.
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